Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

5 Creative Ways To “Just Do It”

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“There is no way I can do this.”

“I admire you for being so courageous, I doubt if I ever can be like you”.

How many times have you uttered those words out loud or had thoughts similar to those? More importantly, how many times have these inner thoughts been so loud that they have stopped you from pursuing creative thinking or coming up with fresh ideas?

All of us have these little voices or the inner gremlin sitting on our shoulder, at various intensities at various points of time in our lives telling us we’re not good enough or we don’t deserve what we have got or we are not capable.

These voices of self-doubt or inner critique stop you in your pursuit of excellence and from your growth and development.

How do you face your inner gremlin and tell her or him to shut up ?

How do you unplug your fears and “Just Do It”?

1. Clarity

Clarity of purpose is a great guide to achieving what you set out to do so. That inner guide reminds you of your purpose and why you do what you do. Do you have clarity on your purpose ?

2. Listen

When the little voice is a deal stopper, listen up. Listen to what it is telling you. Write it down and don’t dwell on it at that moment. Walk away. Come back and read it.

3. What is the worst that can happen ?

When you read what you have written, evaluate objectively what is the worst case scenario ? Is there any truth in your fear ? What happened when you faced a similar fear last time ? How did you get over it ? What did you do well ? What lessons did you learn?

4. Truth

Once you have identified the worst case scenario and there is some credence to your fear, ask how can you better from the worst case scenario ? What do you need to do to achieve the desired results and improve from the worst case scenario?

5.Self-Confidence

To enhance your self-confidence, you need to stop worrying and ask yourself how much is the price you are willing to pay for worrying and is it worth it? Self-confidence is built from self-acceptance and by identifying your strengths and achievements in the past. How did you overcome your last challenge?

Get support from a coach or a mentor to assist you in where you want to be.

Your fear and self-doubt is the truth, if you give power to it.

In your pursuit of #excellence and #quality, let go of your fears and #JustDOIt. #leadfromwithin

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Believe in yourself and work towards improving yourself on a daily basis. #leadfromwithin #self-confidence #fears

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How are you breaking from your fears and doubts and setting yourself on the path to success?

For one-on-one coaching, speaking, training and/or group workshops, let’s connect.

Are You Willing To Remove Your Mask And Be Who You Are?

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During social gatherings or networking meetings, I often meet people whom I think I know and yet I realize that the person I’m interacting with is somebody very different from who they are, if you meet them one-on-one.

I was watching Revenge last weekend and the following reflection by the main character, piqued my interest.

“Just as there are two sides to every story, there are two sides to every person… …one that we reveal to the world and another we keep hidden inside. A duality governed by the balance of light and darkness. Within each of us is the capacity for both good and evil.”

As Hamlet said to Ophelia, “God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.” The battle between these two halves of identity……who we are and who we pretend to be… is unwinnable.

I often wonder why people wear masks and fail to connect with their genuine self.

When you observe children, you notice that they are genuine, un-spoilt and you get what you see. Dogs are genuine and have an uncanny ability to be friendly and genuine. There is no hidden agenda in a dog’s behavior.

Most people associate authenticity with being yourself, walking your talk or being true to oneself. Authenticity, however, goes beyond how you feel about yourself. It is a relational behavior your ability to be comfortable with yourself and connect with others comfortably.

You can be direct and genuine without being rude and arrogant. Using Diplomacy and tact is not about changing personalities and wearing masks.

Each of us, no matter the situation, can be who we want to be. Create a self-awareness and ask yourself if you are being honest to yourself.

I was inspired by the following speech given by MR. RATAN TATA at Symbiosis in Pune, India.

“Don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order. There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions. Don’t take life seriously. Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a prepaid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? …It’s OK, Bunk few classes, score low in couple of papers, take leave from work, fall in love, fight a little with your spouse… It’s ok… We are people, not programmed devices..! “Don’t be serious, enjoy Life as it comes”

Life in her journey offers you opportunities in the form of hurdles, challenges or defined pathways.

The Choice is up to each of us to be who we want to be in that moment of decision.

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I have in my moments of indecision and conflict relied on listening to my inner guide. My three words for this year’s journey are : Explore, Overcome and Grow.

Are you willing to go on a journey within & connect with yourself ?

In all the masks you wear, are you being honest to yourself ?

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5 Key Ways to The Art of Saying “No”

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Do you face the Fear of
→Losing a client or
→Hurting someone’s feelings or
→Upsetting your boss or
→A bad reputation or
→Being called arrogant and rude or
→Turned away from a deal

Do these fears therefore restrict your ability to say “No” even though that is your most desired response in that moment of decision.

Saying “No” is one of the biggest challenges for most people.

For most, their self- confidence and communication skill is challenged, when they have to say “No”. It causes stress and anxiety and they rather say Yes than No so as to avoid potential discomfort.

However, by over committing, you thin yourself out, leading to stress and overwhelm which in turn can affect your ability to deliver with excellence.

Research from the University of California in San Francisco shows that the more difficulty you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression (three things that hinder your emotional intelligence). Source : Forbes

I’ve learnt the art of saying “No”, when required over the years. Despite this, I still struggle at times, with saying “No”, when it comes to some existing clients or in the case of potential business opportunity or with respect to some people.

How do I remind myself about the importance of saying “No”, no matter how difficult it may be? I do so in the following five key ways:

1. Prioritize

Each of us have the same 24 hours given in a day. How we choose to use it depends on us and the priorities we set ourselves.

It is necessary to prioritize because not all the things can be done at the same time or on the same day nor is it possible to please everyone. Value your time. How are you prioritizing ? Are you sticking by it once you have determined what is the priority on that day?

2. Communicate

You may be struggling with the “No” because you don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings, or you feel it is beyond your comfort zone because the recipient may be your boss or client or someone to whom you have never said a “No”. Saying “No” is not bad, all depends on how you say it.

You need to think about the tone and the words you are going to use to communicate the “No”. If you understand how your stakeholders have been influenced culturally through “the language they speak” , you will be able to articulate the “No” in a manner that does not hurt the recipient.

Be assertive and that does not mean arrogance or being rude. Sleep on it so that you can reframe the way you say the “No”.

3. Are you saying “No” to yourself or other things

In your day how many times should you be saying “No” to yourself in doing some activities or being someone else when you should be saying “Yes” to other things or being your true self.

By saying “Yes” to others, if you are denying yourself something or not doing something else which needs attention, what is the end result. Is it desirable?

4. Finding Your Yes

It is important to know what you should be saying “Yes” to. #assertive #communication

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 Start by focusing on the Yes. This will enable you to remind yourself of your priorities and thus say “No”, when required. How will you say “No”, if you didn’t know what you should say Yes to.

5. How is it beneficial ?

Would you rather say “No” instead of keeping somebody waiting for a response? Often, when people have to say no to a proposal or a candidate, they avoid the situation and choose not to respond or hinge on being cagey and vague. By doing so, you are giving unnecessary hope to someone. Think about the benefits of saying “No”.

The Art of Saying “No” is about your #mindset, your thoughts and the #communication skill to translate it into a capacity to act.

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 It is about being articulate and perhaps even persuasive by saying “No”.

What are some of the ways you are saying “No”?

What stops you from saying “No”?

For one-on-one coaching, speaking, workshops, and/or training, let’s Connect

Five Key Questions To Inspire And Lead

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“I am not motivated by the others in the room. The skill level of most other participants are not that good and clearly I and two others are the only contributors. You should encourage participants at the same skill level to be on such workshops”

This was the remark made by one of the participants at a workshop that I was conducting recently in Singapore.

When this participant expressed her opinion, another participant remarked that “as a junior she gets an opportunity to learn and thus people with different skills and experience should continue to be encouraged”.

I heard both their points of view and mentioned to the woman who believed that she should be with people at her skill level or higher that her organization and Human Resources determine who participates.

Whilst I empathized with her and understood her frustration, I challenged her to think from a different perspective. I asked her if she believed herself to be a leader to which she answered well I’m leading a team.

#Leadership is about how you #connect, #communicate and #collaborate with the people around you.

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 Do you think you’ll be inspired by yourself? She was taken aback at my question.

We meet people from different backgrounds, different skill sets, different experience on a day-to-day basis.

How can you be inspiring and shine your light?

1. Do you self-reflect ?

Life is a roller coaster and no matter how much of an expert each of us may be in our own area of expertise, we still make mistakes.
Reflect on
* what went well,
* what can I do better and
* what can I let go?

#Learning happens from the good and bad experiences and from #mistakes or #failures. #leadbyexample

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2. What can I learn from others?

Even with years of experience there is always something to learn from others. On the face of it, some conversations and participating in a workshop with people less experienced may be frustrating. However, ask yourself what can I do in the current situation to make it interesting and challenging ?
How can I encourage others to participate? Can I share my experiences and get some different insights from others? What are they good at and how can I expand my knowledge in that area?

3. What is your “Why “?

Setting a conscious intention before any activity helps you to find a meaningful path to your desired goal. Finding or reminding yourself of your intention enables you to cross over the hurdles that you may face along the way. 

Your Why is the ultimate #goal and it has to be big enough to #motivate, #inspire and encourage you. #leadership

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How can you relate the day-to-day activities and who you are to your Why?

4. Where are your leadership locks?

Sometimes the stumbling blocks may be created from your thinking. Many times what locks you in is your perspective and your view of things.
At times what you think is the problem is not the problem. Your mindset may be the one that needs to be addressed.

5. Are you reactive or proactive?

Your attitude is what you have control of and it can mar or make your moment. It is good to be prepared and yet expect the unexpected and have the EI to adapt and be flexible in the way you communicate. As a leader choose to be proactive instead of reactive. And the only way this can be achieved is to have a mindset of let go and let your thoughts and emotions be in tandem.

I encouraged this participant to develop her leadership skills in such circumstances. May be this is where her learning can take place. As she moves up the seniority ladder, it is the leadership skills that she needs to hone on.

What can you do to inspire people?
Are you a victim of circumstances or do you choose to be a learner from your frustrations and challenges?

For Speaking, One on One Coaching, Training, Facilitation or workshops, let’s Connect

5 Key Questions To Lead By Example And Influence Others

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Lead By Example – lalitaraman.com

A colleague of mine was upset that he had not received any response to his email for over two days. He vented out and then remarked that any email should be responded within 24 hours. He is of the view that even if a person is not able to respond in detail, the least they could do is to acknowledge the email. I smiled at him and he looked at me in shock. Whilst I agree with him, I also wondered about his behavior and if he leads by example in acknowledging an email within the time frame he expects others to do so.

I have not seen a response from him for days or several months on important emails, despite reminders and most people dealing with him have a similar experience. To persuade and influence others, do you personify the qualities that you seek in others?

Clearly, in this case my colleague was expecting something of others which he was not following.

We have all worked with people either as bosses or as colleagues, with behaviors similar to  :

⇒ The manager who says strict cost controls are being introduced with immediate effect and you find that he is having exorbitant dinner party with clients.
⇒ The manager who introduces travel restrictions in terms of costs and yet he or she travels business class or first class for a journey of 4 hours or less.
⇒ The manager who promotes a clean desk policy despite his office and desk being in a mess.

All these people may be in a leadership position by way of the title given to them. However, are they truly inspiring? Do they lead by example in who they are and what they do?

What can you do to lead by example ? Here are five questions to guide you to be on track to influence and inspire others.

1. What standards you set for yourself ?

Your character is built on your integrity. No matter what situation you are in or the role you play, what do your actions and behaviors reflect? Are you being a judge on yourself or a lawyer?

Do you make excuses and find a way out in a conflict of interest situation or in a situation when you know you haven’t delivered up to the mark?

The best test of your Character is not how you are when you are on top but how you are when you are in an adverse situation and working your way back.

2. What standards do you set for others?

Do you expect others to adhere to high standards that you rarely follow? How do you react when someone points out that you don’t walk your talk?

You #leadbyexample when you set challenging #goals and standards for yourself and live by them. #leadership

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3. How do you react to your own mistakes and those of others?

Do you beat yourself up on mistakes that you make or

Are you willing to use the mistakes as a stepping stone to learn and get closer to your goal?

Do you adopt a lenient approach to your own mistakes and at the same time don’t give others a chance to learn from their mistakes?

Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct – Dale Carnegie

4. How do you influence others ?

Do you give orders or ask questions and engage in a conversation ? Do you take time to listen and inspire people to embrace change ? Do you acknowledge, appreciate and connect with others for who they are instead of what they can do for you ?

Are you willing to let go of control and trust in the potential of others ?

Every one likes to get praise and feedback for what they do. They want to be acknowledged and made to feel that “They Matter”. How best can you achieve this in your relationships ?

5. What is your purpose ?

Why do you do what you do? Are you committed to your word ? As a leader you need to articulate your vision in such a way that people are inspired to not only be motivated by your vision but also act to achieve that vision.

In each moment, you create an impression by your interaction, by your actions, by what you say, and who you are. #leadbyexample

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How are you going to make these moments impactful and lead by example?

For consulting, coaching, speaking, workshops and training, let’s connect.

The Virtue Of Gratitude

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I was conducting a 5 day workshop on Executive Presence recently and one of the participants started chatting with me during lunch on day 3. She was appreciative of the workshop and she felt she had not achieved what she had set for herself.

I was observing and listening to her and I was amazed at the dramatic change that this woman had displayed in a matter of 2.5 days. She had grown from someone who was shy, who had a fear of speaking in front of crowds, to someone who had found the courage to ask questions, be more articulate in her communication. Despite what I had observed, she had not noticed that in herself. She was frozen in her self- perspective

Instead of asking her, what she had set for herself, I asked her what are you thankful for? She was awestruck by my question……

 How many times have you heard yourself or others say?

→I don’t have enough time in the day to live my dreams.
→Life has been very unkind to me.
→Why Me?
→What is the point of waking up daily and doing the same thing?
→They are a difficult bunch to work with.
→I wish I could get more.
→I am tired of eating the same dish every second day.
→I have to work long hours……

While there is nothing wrong in venting out once in a while, if these become your daily slogan, day-in-day-out, it is time to stop and reflect.

Don’t allow your want of new things to forget the things you have and be thankful for it. #gratitude #humility #life

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Don’t allow your aspirations and expectations of yourself to improve, to cloud what you have achieved. #thankyou #gratitude

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Fill your life with gratitude because you and others deserve it.

Be Thankful for

1. What you have and what you have achieved.
2. The food you eat daily.
3. Waking up every morning and taking that breath into a new day.
4. Friends, family and all those who care for you in your life because without them, life is not worth living.
5. Difficult people in your life because they give you an opportunity to grow and develop
6. The challenges, because that makes you stronger
7. Not getting something because that makes you realize that you need to step out of your comfort zone and do something different.
8. The job that you have because there are many who are unemployed, and not by choice.
9. The love that is showered on you by people in your daily life.
10. Every little thing that life has given you because without any of that, you wouldn’t be where you are today.

#Life is much better lived with #gratitude because without that, you are constantly in a vicious cycle of negativity, cynicism and hurt.

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Gratitude turns
⇒enough into more
⇒denial into self-acceptance and hope
⇒ chaos into spark of light
⇒confusion into clarity

⇒And Negativity Into Positivity.

How are you going to fill your life with more Gratitude?
What are you doing to express gratitude and humility?

For one-one-one coaching, speaking, worships and training, let’s connect

Top 10 Courtesies To Show Your Humanity

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On my way to work the other day, I saw a vehicle which had “Boston University” written in bold red color right next to the license plate. I wondered why they would have that sign displayed on the car. I couldn’t help think if it was a display of insecurity, high handed-ness or was it just being boastful and a display of titles.

Looking at this vehicle with the sign of “Boston University” displayed brought back memories of an incident while I was working with one of the organizations. A gentleman from one of our overseas office stands by my desk, throws his business card, taps my desk and says do you know who I am? I was irritated at the disrespect and lack of courtesy he showed. I turned around and remarked, sorry you are disturbing me and I don’t know who you are, would you care to introduce yourself? He again taps on his business card and says he is the head of sales…..

You don’t need a title to be a #leader. #leadership #leadfromwithin #peopleskills

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You don’t need a set of qualifications and titles next to your name to show who you are. In fact the more you display your titles, the more you are possibly conveying the wrong message to your audience.

What are the simple courtesies that you need to remember in order to relate to another person or influence the other person positively?

1. Say “thank you”, “please”, ‘you’re welcome”, “sorry”, “may I” …

These are simple words yet have a long-lasting impact when used with sincerity and genuineness. Use them often and mean it when you say it.

2. Acknowledge

Would you like to be ignored? If not, why would you not want to return phone calls or acknowledge emails from your colleagues or friends? If you think “you matter”, so do others. There is nothing worse than ignoring somebody with your silence by way of not returning phone calls or responding to emails.

3. Be Kind

Throwing a business card or exchanging business cards (as much as it may be a habit from so-called culture) is not the way to get to know someone or introduce yourself or to start a relationship. Life is short and it is not Tories or business cards that matter. Find ways to be kind in the way you strike, build or continue a relationship.

4. Committed To Your Word

Talking your talk is important and don’t forget that walking your talk is imperative. You may be a good marketer and have the gift of gab but finally your true colors will be known when you are not committed to your word. Your word is you and represents your brand.

5. Words of Encouragement

Empower yourself and others through your words of support and encouragement. Praise every improvement that you have observed in somebody and make them feel appreciated and important because they deserve it.

6. Silence

There is a time to be silent and a time to speak up. Know the appropriateness of the moment. Don’t throw your weight around with your titles and inappropriate actions and words.

7. Ask Questions

By asking relevant and appropriate questions you can strike a chord with somebody. Asking is better than telling. By giving orders, you aren’t going to get further in any relationship.

8. Value of Your Time

Time once lost can never be gained back. You snooze, you lose. I find it amazing when people don’t respect punctuality. Emergencies happen but not on a regular basis.

Show #courtesy for other’s #time by showing up on time and making it well it’s worth. #life #leadfromwithin

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9. Listen

The best #gift you can give someone is your #time and undivided attention. #leadfromwithin #life #courtesy

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If you are in a conversation with someone, be in the moment and listen. There is no use listening selectively or pretending to listen. 

#Listen with your #heart and listen to understand. #leadfromwithin #leadership #EI #communication #peopleskills

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10. Let Go

Give in and let go because sometimes that may be better for yourself and others. This is probably one of the most difficult to implement every time. Self –awareness via gentle reminders to yourself helps you to let go.

People may forget whom a business card belongs to or your titles but they will never forget how you made them feel. Take the responsibility to make people feel valued and important in your interactions because they matter and you matter. Inspire and lead by example and with your actions.

For Coaching, Speaking, Training let’s connect.

Remain Positive Though Negativity Feels Instinctive

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Photo Credits :Lalita Raman

Photo Credits :Lalita Raman

Do you see the glass half empty or do you see the glass half  full?

My domestic helper was looking very upset and low on Saturday. She was concerned about not being able to speak to her family, who live in Indonesia, Java, in a village close to where the volcano has erupted.

Her concern was valid. She was not able to get through to her family on the phone for a whole day. I realized if she continues with the negative thoughts, it is not going to help her. So I started asking her what typically happens when these kind of volcanos erupt and what happened last time when something similar had happened. Immediately she said oh ma’am the electricity goes off. To which I said, are you trying them on a landline or mobile?

And suddenly she realized that may be they have had no electricity and the battery on the mobile may have run off and they may not have been able to charge. There was a bright spark of delight on her face when she responded, yes mobile and yes may be the battery has run off. She had a smile on her face with this new hope.

During one of the trainings I was delivering last week, whilst mentioning that think of the positives, one of the participants remarked, it is not good to be over optimistic and be blinded by our optimism. We need to be realistic. Some amount of negativity and stress is required to take us forward……., indeed there is always some amount of pain that some of our brains requires to push us forward and to achieve something. However, shrouding ourselves in negativity that disables us to see any other way and move us forward is not realistic.

Is it good to be over optimistic?

Is it reasonable to be negative?

I think the most important in any situation of life, is our attitude. Attitude determines the choice you make at the moment and the choice you make or not make will either lift you or bury you further.

It is easy to criticize, complain and condemn and continue life. And it is a matter of choice whether we go the usual route or take the path to look at things realistically and not let our emotions go out of control.

What can you do when you see yourself getting into a vicious negative cycle ?

1. Hit your reset button

Snap out of it by hitting your reset button. Our thoughts control our feelings and that affects our behavior, our words and action. Only way to get out of it is to press Ctrl+Alt+Del or hit the Force Quit button. I take myself out of a negative thought especially when I see it is leading me along an irrational path by imagining myself pressing the Force Quit button in my brain almost similar to the force quit button on MAC when a program is not responding. This can take the form of pressing a button or walking away and taking a break or drinking water or talking to a friend or whatever that helps you at that moment.

2. Choose your surroundings

You may say, I don’t always have control on my surroundings. Yes but you do have control on what you do with it. Do you fall prey to it or choose to keep away from negative people who put you down. Can you remind yourself to not fall victim to your Amygdala and hijack your motor skills of your PFC? What are those little reminders that will help you at that moment?

This does not mean put up with any offense or humiliation or character assassination that people may make on you. It means choose a path, an action that will enable you to keep yourself and your emotions safe.

Choose the people you want to be around day-in and day-out because that does affect your #behavior over a period of #time.

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3. Your Action

Of course there are times when you are in a meeting, in an elevator, in a supermarket, in a gym when you come across people whose actions indicate a lot of negativity. The mindset they adopt is not something that suits your mindset. Change cannot be forced but what you have control over is your mindset. This is one of my most challenging acts. I need to keep my head above water to make sure that people’s negative behavior which could be in the form of not being courteous, or being impolite or doing some injustice does not affect me. I have to remind myself to stay above the fray and not stoop down to their level. Over the years, I have gotten better at this, because I have realized that change in any of us has to come from within.

What I can do is to lead by example and inspire others by my action.

In conclusion, I would say majority of time think and be positive. Negativity breeds negativity and pulls you down with no benefit to you or others. Positivity does not mean being unrealistic and over optimistic. It is good to be realistic and yes when we are trying to improve skills, behavior or lose weight or stop a habit that is not helping us, thinking of the negative consequences helps us to move forward.

How do you get over negativity?

#Life is a challenge and on the roller coaster journey of life how do you stay above the fray? #leadfromwithin

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For Coaching, Speaking and Training let’s Connect.

The Secret To Strong Self-Esteem

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You see it in others, you feel it in yourself when you exude it and yet you can only describe it by acts of doing instead of being. What is it?

It is Confidence you see in others and you describe it by what they do and how they do it.

You feel your own #self-esteem and people see you exude #self-confidence in what you do and say. #leadfromwithin

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  Each of us have self-esteem and we find this even on the dullest moments and on days we want to give up. Self-esteem is not something that can be taken away from us.

Yet, we don’t recognize that we have it and in moments of adversity it is our self-esteem that enables us to bounce back.

It is not about bragging or being narcissistic but it is about who you are, what you are good at and the humility to know and accept what you are not so good at.

Over the weekend, I watched the movie 100 Foot Journey. There is a scene in the movie where Hassan (the lead character) prepares a pigeon dish for his competitor, Madame Mallory. The way Hassan presents the dish to her is with complete confidence in his ability and you notice that as an observer. Of course, he doesn’t get the appreciation that he expects from Madame Mallory. Later in the movie, Hassan, having heard that Madame Mallory hires potential chefs by taste-testing an omelet they prepare for her, asks if he may cook an omelet for her. Citing his injured hands, he says Madame Mallory will have to help him with the process.

After sampling his cooking, Madame Mallory concedes to his potential to be a great chef.

He states to her that he was sure that he had made the first dish and the omelet exactly the way she liked and he was confident that she would like it.

The way this character exudes confidence is memorable.

Self Confidence comes from having the self-esteem about yourself.

#Self-esteem is about being #positive and believing in yourself and what you can do. #leadfromwithin

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  It is also about how you see yourself. Self-esteem gives you that wand to believe in yourself, respect and like yourself, accept your challenges and keep an open mind to learn, develop and continue to grow on the path of excellence. In this movie, Hassan has self-esteem and that enables him to learn, try out new things and excel in his goal and path. It is his self- esteem and self-confidence that enables him to reach the heights of success and yet make the choice when he feels he is at a crossroad.

How do you build your self-esteem and that of others?

1. Listen

Listening is the best gift you can give someone to build their self-esteem and confidence.

2. Encourage

As a child our parents encouraged us to step out of our comfort zone, be adaptable and believe in oneself. Each of us need encouragement no matter our age or gender.

2. Appreciate

As a child we love receiving praise and we get appreciated in the small things we do. However, we never stop wanting to be appreciated no matter our age or gender.

3. Plan ahead

Life is a challenge and it is an untrodden path. Be open to respond with spontaneity on the surprises. And don’t forget that preparation and planning in every aspect of life goes a long way. So, If you want to be a good speaker, prepare, practice and earn the right to speak it and do it with authenticity.

5. Strengths

Be aware of your strengths and use them. Be adaptable because sometimes these very strengths could become your down player. Hassan in this movie had a gift and passion for cooking. He was a natural at it and he knew it, yet he was ready to learn and adapt to become successful.

Self-esteem is something we all have and we can adopt a mindset where we allow us to build our self-confidence with honor and humility.

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Do You Walk A Fine Line In The Choices You Make?

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I was listening to music on my way to yoga on Saturday and Paul McCartney’s following song started playing on my iPhone ….

There is a fine line, between recklessness and courage
It’s about time, you understood which road to take
It’s a fine line, your decision makes a difference
Get it wrong, you’ll be making a big mistake

It’s a fine line
Whatever’s more important to you (It’s a fine line)
You got to choose what you want to do
Whatever’s more important to be (It’s a fine line)
That’s the thing that you gotta see

The lyrics of this song kept ringing in my ears and whilst doing yoga, when the instructor mentioned, do what is possible, push yourself but not to the extent where you are not able to breathe…..,it struck me that there is such a fine line between challenging yourself and stepping out of your comfort zone and pushing yourself to an extent where you could injure yourself and find it difficult to breathe.

After class on my way back, I couldn’t help thinking…..

There is a fine line between

→ confidence and over confidence resulting in arrogance
→ frustration and giving into anger and giving up
→ being a trusted advisor and a pushy or desperate sales person
→ giving in to let go and giving up
→ fake it till you make it to gain confidence and being inauthentic

How many times do leaders walk this fine line? And in walking this fine line, do you as a leader forget to care for your employees, to keep the communication lines open, to appreciate people and not take kindness for granted.

In walking this thin line, and in order to not tip over to the not so pleasant side, what are some of the most important factors?

1. Confidence

Have the confidence to be not led by your fears, yet remind yourself to be humble. Walking the fine line between arrogance and confidence can be challenging at times, yet, if you allow yourself to be driven by your inner self and core, it is possible to make the right choice.

2. Let go

Let go of the desire to be popular and of getting brownie points at the cost of not speaking up for the right things. Indifference breeds indifference. If you take people in your team for granted and do not recognize or appreciate them you are indicating that you don’t care for them or the work they do. Your behavior and what you do or don’t, matters.

3. People Skills

Being a team leader or manager involves much more than IQ. You will be an effective manager when you communicate with your team, make them feel valued and listen to them.

Be consistent in your behavior and walk your talk. You create confusion and animosity when you communicate one thing with your words and do something else by your actions. You need to have a positive attitude and see the good and bad and be able to deal with the challenges and adversities. People will believe in you if they see you put forth your values and vision consistently and in that care for people and work together with them to take this value and vision forward.

4. Mindset and attitude

It is challenging not to cross the thin line during adversities. Yet, a leader is one who does not fall prey to the vulnerable moment and shows the tight attitude and mindset. It is not about being a superwoman or superman but asking yourself what is your purpose and what are you driven by? Negative attitude is like a vicious cycle and can have a cascading effect in bringing a relationship, a team and organization apart.

5. Indifference

Your leadership style needs to facilitate people towards their and the overall organization’s progress. Policies and procedures are essential in an organization but when you make them cumbersome and as the sole purpose in whatever you do, it becomes inhuman and a burden.

No matter what role you play, you don’t need to tip over the thin line to make a choice that is irrational and one that displays poor #EI. #leadfromwithin

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You have a #choice even when you are walking a fine line, one you would like to receive if you were at the receiving end. #peopleskills

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